Bumpy-Blues

Today my shopping list read:

Toothpaste

Bread

Ham

Milk

Cereal

Fruit

Something to cheer you up

I never did decide what that something at the end was. I guessed at chocolate. And a lift-the-flap book for Tori because it made her giggle and that cheered me up.

Why do I need cheering up? Honestly? I really don’t know. Tomorrow is D-Day for BabyBump, I should be all excited and happy but I’m just not. Yesterday and today I have been a big fat lump of useless miserableness. The rest of the week I’ve been happily pottering round playing with the Tweenster and cleaning the house or baking and what-not. Yesterday I crashed, face-first. I wanted to do ‘stuff’ – tidy Tori’s room, hoover, watch TV, play with Tori, write a blog post, read a book. Anything. I just didn’t have the patience. I tried to do most of the above and just got annoyed with all of them and gave up.

Today has been similar.

I must say though that the sun coming out has helped a little. The weather is fighting my mood for me a bit and the walk to Co-op was nice even if it did leave me feeling utterly wiped out when I got back (which is pathetic, it’s a 4 minute walk…). Now my legs feel like jelly over an hour later – just another ache to add to the list.

I can’t sleep. I can’t concentrate on anything. I can’t finish anything.

I. Just. Can’t. Do. Anything. With. Myself.

I have the Bumpy-Blues and I’m fed up of them now. I want the old me back – the one that knows how to smile for longer than 30 seconds at a time and doesn’t cry all the time. Anyone seen her anywhere?

Please hurry up BabyBump – it’s nice out here and Mummy needs a cuddle really badly….